The Shame we try to hide

What are we suppose to do when we are expected to hide ourselves under the sheath of clothes and from the eyes of perverted male circle. This is the well known topic on which there was loads of talks and debates, agreement and disagreement, and finally the so called preaching as the inferior gender, it is better to hide the shame and move on.

Let me try to think from the perspective of a male who is simply imagining a woman as a tool for pleasure or just an object who can satiate his thirst for pleasure. My question is then why are they living in human society or is it the society who should be blamed for this situation. I knew about a lot of friends who went through this shameful process of being stared at or being touched at inappropriate places or being persecuted for a long time. Whether it is a friend or a so called well wisher or anyone who thinks that they know you well to do anything they want to do with you are extremely inhuman and unjust and are not fit to live in a so-called society. As far as I know many girls could not raise their voice because they were afraid of the so called shame that they will face when it is known to everyone.

I believe if those who do it do not have any shame while they do it then it is no wonder that those who are the victim of this situation should not feel like the guilty party. I wonder why then it is the girls who suffer at the hands of even justice in some Middle East countries and what kind of social rules are being followed in those countries.It is not about education or about social value it is about simply being humane to understand about violating another human or a minor in many cases.

I was not shocked to see the news of the teenage girls being raped by adult apes because I am quite familiar with the situation, each girl knows how it feels to be humiliated or to feel that feeling of insecurity when so called horrible ape circle is around, may be they are wearing the masks of a relative, a friend a well wisher or a stranger but alas! It is the animal that we girls can actually visualize. Do they think they are superior or because they are the stronger ones or because the girls are naive enough to hide it, they are going to be not guilty or it is their birth right to humiliate a person because they are not born with a conscience?

It is high time that there should be strict punishment for it and in most cases it is the law makers or the people who are in-charge of the safety and security are misusing power. However, I strongly believe that they are the ones who should be ashamed and not the girls, it is not because of the way they dress or nothing is wrong with them, it is the male perspective in most cases which needs to be changed, because they are capable of violating even minors and ruining their happy lives and psyche forever. Last but not the least, I would like to ask the society to change their view point and ask girls to feel comfortable about themselves and feel confident about reporting such a case of violation and mistreatment as it is a human right and also for men to be ashamed of themselves who are involved in this kind of acts.  

Subolong ..The nectar falling from the mountains

The first sight intoxicated me. I was expecting a sight but this was beyond all my capacities, my imaginations clearly did not reach this wonderful delight which was in store for me .... ah, this abruptly reminded me of my childhood ...of those days when I have tasted the taste of beauty in Darjeeling...my hungry eyes could dig in the majestic realities of true nature of pure and innocent bliss of a world where one can lose oneself without thinking about time, space or any other issues, a place away from the daily life, a place away from the chaotic life, a place where nature can be a source of spirituality. I was thinking about the time I dreamt with my best buddy to go on a vacation and lose ourselves completely. You can totally surrender yourself at the hands of nature and it won't disappoint you.

The waterfall was more than a hundred feet high and I was mesmerized by the sheer beauty of the gift of nature ...the force of the water was so great that it seemed the water was not only flowing downwards but upwards as well. It's a universal truth that water is colorless but when a lot of water fall from a great height it looks like a thousand white diamonds are falling down from a great height at great speed, spreading the rainbow colors. At that moment I felt life is precious and wonderful because we have great nature around us to celebrate life. I went down the stairs with my injured leg very carefully, not to slip the stairs but the excitement was so great I wanted to fly down to touch and taste the nectar from the mountains. My dear sister took my hand and guided me to the falls. The path was rocky and stony and I had to be extra careful not to hurt my leg. I finally reached the falls... oh what an amazing feeling it was to touch the water and soak myself in the water. The water is one of the basic needs of our daily lives but here there was a primal urge to touch and feel the nectar. It was as if the mountains and waterfall came together to celebrate life and love . When you are so near the bond of nature it seems like you forget all the social bonds and break all the social chains, u become a beast, a creature of nature, a creation just like any other animal, free to do whatever you like ...reminds of the inner beast that one has when one is himself or herself without any pretension, here beast doesnot define a beast like Mr.Kurtz in The Heart of Darkness ...but a person with free will and without any sense of shame or guilt like any other creature... you feel like being one with the water, with the mountains, with the trees, the rocks, and with the people, you love. Where there is music and a song that only you can hear and you feel like dancing to the tune of that music. This is probably called paradise because it is all about happiness, beauty, love, and purity and you find all of these among nature.
 When everyone else had a change of clothing I did not take it because I thought of saving myself the bother, especially when I was not even fit, true I could not reach the place where the fall was most heavy and everyone else was having fun having a nice shower under the fall, while I chose to stand under the small one. Even the sight of monkey-faced hooligans could not upset me, even if there would be a very handsome man, I would not have paid any attention to him because I was so much in love with the fall. I was thinking of writing a poem celebrating nature. When all my friends went up the mountains to take a closer look at the fall I sat down below near the foot of the mountain seeing a view which would be imprinted on my mind forever ....the sun was just at the top of the mountain and the water was falling down. It was shining like a thousand lamps lit up together and the water was falling like a boon from paradise. I could go on and on looking at the gushing water which was so bright and crystal clear. My friend caught a shrimp and jumped up and down with joy. I was bitten by small bugs, yet I did not move from the place I was sitting as if someone chained me to that place. It was only the sight of a scorpion that could make me move and I saved myself only in seconds. Many poets wrote a thousand poems on nature and I have been to many places but here I was at a place that moved me so much. It touched my soul, it was as if I was performing a spiritual ritual. The kind of connection and purity and love I felt at this place that I never felt before.
The way to the waterfall was a memorable path. It took us almost two hours to reach Subolong falls from Rangamati city and we didn't feel bored at all as the scenic beauty was worth the ride.  I remember in schools we were often given comprehensions on a boat ride, back then I would not have been able to write anything other than probably a fictional one but if  I am ever given to write on a boat ride this would be the best one to describe so far as the water of the lake was crystal clear and the lake was surrounded by hills and small islands where there were small markets and dwellings, the lives of these people of Rangamati amazed me because they hardly had any resources, they didn't have electricity, cars or internet at every place, and local busses were also not available, vehicles were not so available, yet they are indeed truly happy and very hospitable. It taught me a great lesson to be humble, happy and the beauty of innocence and nature and purity truly amazed me. I learnt to be content with life. Now I know that if you look around you can find great resources in your own country. It's fiction that you can only find great nature abroad. We have majestic places in our own land.

DISTORTED CHILDHOOD

" A hundred years should go to praise,

  Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze "

- Andrew Marwell, To His Coy Mistress

 Oh, my beloved, your eyes are as deep as the ocean,

 Your lips are as red as roses

 Let me take a deep into thy ocean,

 Let me smell your sweet fragrance.

  

 She recalls this poem many years later while sitting in an easy chair, accompanied by nurses. Oh! What has she done?   She suddenly gasps with horror! Rehana Khan, a young girl of twenty and one years. She has attempted to murder her fiance. The doctors of the Mental Asylum are working on her case.

  

Rehana Khan is the eldest daughter of  Ziyaur Rahman Khan, a politician, an MP for the past twenty years. Her engagement had created a lot of buzz in the country. Salim Reza, the only son of the Prime Minister Sheikh Abdul Goni of Bangladesh is Rehana khan's fiance.

They were a perfect couple, so everybody said. What could possibly there go wrong? Though people spoke about her as an introvert, nobody has guessed that her silence could be so dangerous! Salim has been admitted to Dhaka Medical Hospital. When the police in charge asked for his statement, Salim told him that Rehana's attack was completely unexpected. It was very sudden and she stabbed him from the back. She was found unconscious on the spot.

The investigation by the Police Department revealed some significant evidence that disclosed the mystery.

A letter found in Rehana's Diary......
Dear Amma,
I could not pluck enough courage to tell you what I am going to tell you now. It happened a long time ago but I could not understand it then. Remember, when I was in class I, Abbu had kept a house tutor for me. Jahangir Alam Sir was not the good person that everybody thought him to be. Amma, he was so scary, he used to show me a lot of unnecessary love and affection. He was a strange person, he often used to beat me when I did not listen to him and ran away from him. But he bought me my favorite candies every day and I could not help but go near him.
Sometimes he would recite some complicated poems which I could hardly understand. He would sometimes lock the study room door and, would shower unwanted kisses on me. Amma, believe me, I did not take it otherwise but now when I recall what it leads to I cannot stop weeping and blaming my bad fortune.
Amma, I think all men are the same, they use these words of love and beauty to flatter women.
Your Daughter Rehana.

Rehana's mother, Ms. Rezina Khan was a social figure, too. She used to be involved in social affairs, charity, and parties. Rehana, therefore, had been a lonely child.
The psychiatrist who was taking care of Rehana's case later decided that Rehana was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. She believed firmly that everyone is going to harm her. The next day her body was found floating on the river Budiganga.
The day before, her fiance had come to persuade her. In the process, he had come too close for her comfort. She thought that after her marriage nobody will come to her rescue. So she will be bound to live with that man. Thinking of her past she was very scared of her future. So she didn't wish to see the next dawn.

Writer's block

Well, Well, Well! I thought to myself that when have I become a writer? The dilemma of being a writer was on every writer's mind whether it was the classical poet of the renaissance or the romantic or even modern or post-modern. The problem is every writer needs an audience and more than anything wants to establish himself or in the present time herself as a writer to be precise an intelligent writer. These days many do write but behind this writing, there is supposed to be a special technique of writing and one ought to know how to write correctly, not to say that the subject of the writer could spark a lot of controversies . One ought to choose a topic safely and write on it. Though you cannot please everyone there is to please but it should be a decent number of people. I always wanted to write something and something that I strongly felt for. These days we see so many writers and I feel happy that these writers are getting a platform to write.

I wrote a couple of stories and thought to myself that perhaps I could become a writer . There were many issues which bothers me a lot but then this block started and I lost my ability to write, maybe I am blabbering or just jotting down my thoughts but it's a relief that I am writing again...the mind's agony is somehow lesser than before ... I read many books and novels and poems but some touched the cord of my soul and I could connect to it as if it happened to me. Some people have the capability of describing a simple incident with so much nuance and aesthetic that the total thing becomes serene and surreal or sometimes more real than reality. The ability to turn an imaginative incident into a real one is known as fiction and indeed very beautiful fiction it is. If people of your time like it, it becomes popular fiction and if it is even more popular it is made into a movie, some stories are simple and real but it looks like it is more complicated than it seems and that's the author's capability to write,to have space for creation,to be more imaginative than someone else. Here the main point comes Different ... well we all want to be different than the other person don't we ? and there starts this othering business and trying to be Someone Different, someone, with some creative ability. We all feel it in this current time when there is an ocean of writers and creative people but it is not only about the current times all along in the history of literature authors and writers felt the need to prove themselves and therefore I am no different than others I suppose.